Standing at the Edge of the Next Chapter

What happens when fear shows up right before the next big step

Sometimes the next chapter of our lives begins with a whisper of fear.

Sometimes the next chapter begins long before we feel ready for it.

Last night I had a long conversation with my husband.

The kind of conversation that only happens when life is shifting a little… when you can feel something new on the horizon but you’re not quite sure how it will unfold.

I told him something that probably surprises people when they hear it.

Even after everything I’ve done in my life, I still struggle with a voice in my head that says:

“Why try so hard?

You’ll probably fail anyway.”

It’s a voice that has followed me for a very long time.

And if I’m being completely honest, it still shows up sometimes.

The Voice That Says “Don’t Try”

All my life I’ve pushed myself hard.

I trained for the Olympics.

I modeled with Cheryl Tiegs.

I set state records in sports.

I worked with Bill Gates.

From the outside, it probably looks like confidence.

But the truth is, much of that drive came from something deeper.

A voice that said I had to prove something.

That I had to work harder.

Push further.

Achieve more.

Because somewhere along the way I was told I wouldn’t amount to anything.

That kind of message stays with you.

Even after years of therapy.

Even after success.

Even after you’ve built a life and career you’re proud of.

Sometimes that old voice still whispers.

The Pattern I’ve Learned to Recognize

Here’s something I’ve realized about myself.

There have been moments in my life when I’ve been standing right at the edge of a new chapter.

Right at the point where something bigger could begin.

And sometimes…

I’ve stepped back.

Not because I wasn’t capable.

But because fear crept in.

What if I fail?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if they find out I don’t belong here?

It’s strange, isn’t it?

You can have real success, real accomplishments, and still feel like you’re just one step away from being “found out.”

Seeing My Work Through Someone Else’s Eyes

The quiet work behind the art.

Another thing I confessed to Kevin last night is this:

When I look at my artwork, I don’t always see it the way other people do.

I don’t think of it as special.

I often look at it and think,

"Well… isn’t this normal?

Can’t most people do this?”

But the truth is, they can’t.

Not because I’m better than anyone else - but because every artist develops their own language over time. Their own way of seeing the world.

Kevin sees that in my work much more clearly than I do.

He’s always been my biggest promoter — the one reminding me that the things I create have meaning and value.

Left to my own devices, I tend to shy away from talking about it.

Standing at the Edge Again

And now, here I am again.

Standing at the edge of another new chapter.

Recently I made the decision to start reaching for bigger opportunities with my art and teaching.

I’ve applied to teach at International Quilt Festival Houston, Road to California, and Madeline Island School of the Arts.

Just typing those names makes my stomach flip a little.

Because the moment you reach for something bigger, that old voice loves to show up.

The one that says:

“Who do you think you are?”

But here’s what I’m starting to understand.

That voice tends to appear right before growth.

The Truth About Courage

The truth is, courage isn’t the absence of fear.

It’s recognizing the fear… and stepping forward anyway.

I wish I could say that after all these years that voice has disappeared completely.

But it hasn’t.

What has changed is that I recognize it sooner.

I understand where it comes from.

And I no longer let it make my decisions.

The Next Step

Every layer tells part of the story

So here I am.

Scared.

Excited.

Hopeful.

Standing at the edge of the next chapter.

And this time, instead of stepping back…

I’m choosing to step forward.

Because I’ve learned something important along the way.

Fear doesn’t always mean stop.

Sometimes it means you’re standing right where growth begins.

Deb

No Rules, Just Art®