The Energy It Takes to Heal

Healing looks different than I imagined. Quiet evenings, exhausted moments, unconditional love from my pups, and learning to slow down one day at a time.

Healing is strange.

Before this journey, I thought healing meant rest, medication, and patience. I thought if I followed the rules, did the therapy, took the medications, and stayed positive, everything would simply move forward in a straight line.

What I’m learning is that healing takes everything.

Not just physically—but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually too.

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I get my stitches removed, and honestly, it feels like one of those moments where everything hangs in the balance. If the incision holds, it means the antibiotics are likely doing their job and we continue moving forward.

If it doesn’t… then the road changes dramatically.

My surgeon and I have had very frank conversations about what that could mean. More surgery. Removing all the hardware. A temporary hip. More antibiotics. Then eventually another replacement surgery down the road.

It’s a lot to process.

And if I’m being honest, there’s fear there.

I’ve also realized how deeply an experience like this affects your nervous system. When your body goes through trauma, your mind does too. I finally connected with a therapist who takes a more holistic approach, and my PCP started me on medication to help calm my nervous system because, quite frankly, I’ve been spiraling a bit.

Mental health matters.

Healing isn’t just about lab numbers and antibiotics. It’s about calming the fear, quieting the constant “what ifs,” and helping your body feel safe enough to heal.

The good news? My kidneys and liver are doing great. My bloodwork is encouraging. The doctors are happy with how the antibiotics are affecting my body overall. So there are positives, even in the uncertainty.

Energy-wise, I can usually handle about one major task a day. Sometimes that “major task” is simply taking a shower. And afterward? I’m exhausted.

It’s amazing how much energy the body requires to heal itself.

I’m not working out. I’m barely moving compared to normal life, yet I’m losing weight because my body is using every ounce of energy trying to repair itself.

So yes… ice cream is officially on the menu now. 😊

One of the hardest parts has been staying out of my studio. I miss creating deeply. I miss the energy of making art, getting lost in color and texture and thread. Right now, I simply don’t have the strength for it—but I hope that changes soon.

What has surprised me most through all of this is the overwhelming kindness from people around me.

The texts.

The calls.

The “thinking of you” messages.

You don’t fully realize the impact you’ve had on people until something like this happens.

And then there’s my husband.

I didn’t think it was possible for us to become closer than we already were, but walking through something this frightening together changes things. It strips life down to what really matters. You see the depth of unconditional love in ways that are hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

Something else happened recently that stuck with me.

During my first session with my new therapist, she asked about my upbringing, difficult experiences, and the many hard chapters of my life. After listening quietly for a while, she finally looked at me and said:

“How do you still have such a positive outlook on life after everything you’ve been through?”

Honestly, it caught me off guard.

I told her it’s all in my book, Prison Without Bars, Forgiveness Holds the Key. My life has included difficult beginnings, painful losses, and situations that could have easily turned me bitter or defeated.

But somewhere along the way, I made a choice.

When I used to speak publicly about overcoming adversity, I would often say:

“You can either become a victim of your circumstances or victorious.”

Life gives us situations we never asked for. But we still get to choose how we walk through them.

I’ve always chosen to believe there is something valuable to learn from every experience—even the painful ones.

Right now, I’ll admit, I’m struggling to fully see those lessons in the middle of this storm. Some days are harder than others. Some days fear wins for a little while.

But I also know this:

When I come out on the other side of this journey, there will be lessons here too.

Growth.

Perspective.

Strength.

Grace.

Gratitude.

Maybe even deeper compassion.

Everyone walks through hard seasons eventually. This just happens to be mine right now.

So for today, I keep healing.

Slowly.

Hopefully.

One day at a time.

Much Love,

Deb