When Nothing Feels Funny: Finding Humor in Resilience

Sometimes resilience isn't about laughing at what we're going through. Sometimes it's about remembering that we're still allowed to laugh while we're going through it.

This morning, during one of my Creative Strength Training breakout groups, we were talking about resilience—and specifically about finding humor in resilience.

We all kind of looked at each other.

Humor?

In this?

Because here's the thing: sometimes what we're going through simply isn't funny.

Pain isn't funny. Fear isn't funny. Exhaustion isn't funny. Frustration isn't funny. And when you're in the middle of something difficult that seems to keep going and going, trying to find the humor in it can feel almost impossible.

That's when I realized something.

Maybe we don't have to.

We Don't Have to Laugh at the Hard Stuff

I don't think resilience means we have to turn every difficult experience into something positive or funny.

Sometimes life is just hard.

But that doesn't mean laughter has to disappear from our lives while we're going through it.

We can bring humor in from somewhere else.

For me, apparently, that somewhere else is... Jaws.

Yes. Jaws.

I have a fear of water. I don't like being out in deep water, and you will never catch me willingly signing up for a cruise.

So when I need something completely ridiculous to take my mind off life for a while, I can watch Jaws or another movie involving terrifying things lurking beneath the surface.

Does this help me overcome my fear of water?

Absolutely not.

It reinforces every reason I already have for staying safely on dry land.

And somehow, that makes me laugh.

Unfortunately, Dry Land Isn't Entirely Safe Either

Because we have bats.

Every morning, I put out my hummingbird feeders. And this time of year, I have to bring them in at night because the bats will drain every drop of nectar out of them.

Darn bats.

And these are not shy little bats.

Last year, one actually dive-bombed me.

Another time, I went out to my she shed to get the feeders and there was a bat stuck on the door. When I opened it, the bat almost fell directly onto my head.

One more step and I would have been wearing a bat hat.

Not exactly the fashion statement I was going for.

We carefully scooped our very unhappy visitor up with a towel. There were fangs. There was hissing. There was absolutely no gratitude whatsoever.

We placed it on the fence, and eventually it flew away.

So apparently my options are:

Go in the water and get eaten by a shark.

Stay on dry land and get dive-bombed by a bat.

See?

There's the humor.

Laughter Doesn't Erase the Hard

Yesterday was an incredibly difficult day for me.

I met with a new surgeon who helped me understand just how much my body has been through and how hard it is still working to heal. Later, physical therapy left me hurting, exhausted, and completely spent.

There wasn't anything funny about it.

And today, I'm still tired.

I'm still healing.

I'm still frustrated that my mind wants to do so much more than my body is currently capable of doing.

None of that disappeared because I laughed about Jaws and a bat almost landing on my head.

But for a few minutes, the hard stuff wasn't the only thing in the room.

And maybe that's where humor becomes part of resilience.

Making Room for Both

I've been thinking a lot lately about what resilience actually means.

I'm beginning to believe it isn't about being endlessly strong.

It isn't pretending we're okay.

It isn't pushing through pain, ignoring fear, or forcing ourselves to find a silver lining when there simply isn't one.

Sometimes resilience is simply making room.

Room for the sadness.

Room for the frustration.

Room for the fear.

And yes...

room for laughter, too.

We don't have to laugh at what we're going through.

But we can still invite laughter into our lives while we're going through it.

Watch the ridiculous movie.

Call the friend who makes you laugh.

Tell the stupid joke.

Laugh at yourself.

Notice the absurd little moments life hands you—even in the middle of something difficult.

Because laughter doesn't mean the struggle isn't real.

It simply reminds us that the struggle isn't all there is.

And if all else fails?

Stay out of the water.

And always check the door for bats.

No Rules, Just Art®

— Deb